Free Writing on Pain of Needle

Tattoo pain is real.
Can one get used to it?
Can I learn to breathe through this?
Will I be able to handle two hours of this?
Maybe I should have gotten a smaller one.
I like to talk, but man I am hurting too much to think.
This burns. I am worried about how much this is gonna hurt and for how long after it is done.
I am tense as fuck, probably gonna be sore from tensing my muscles in my leg.
I'm trying to relax and just breath but fuck, this fucking hurts.
Fuck! How many times can I write fuck and does it actually help?

I wonder why this is a right of passage for so many indigenous cultures.
Ok, I tried talking.
I did feel a little better.
Trying to be quiet is not making me tough.
I am not really tough...just stubborn :)
My stream of consciousness is not really helping.
Two hours with this gun is worse than seven hours of boring driving without cell service.

I am super glad they have so many toys and stickers to look at in this shop,
because I am stuck here for a while.
Ok time to start praying.
God, I love you.
Seriously I do.
Life is amazing.
Creation is mindblowing.
I am so grateful to be alive,
to get to be
 and be in time
 and your creation in your world
to be your son.
adopted by the father through brotherhood with Jesus Christ.

I wonder if my son or daughter claimed someone...
Would I bring them into my tent and make them family?
Is that how the kingdom comes...
through fathers that accept new children,
through the advocation of their sons and daughter,
bringing new brothers and sisters into the fold?

New part of my leg this really hurts...

I got used to the pain when it was all in one spot. 
Cliff found a new spot and it is sensitive AF!

Breath.

Thank you, Lord Jesus.
It is right to honor you,
who calls me brother.

OWWWW! Fuck the under knee spot.
Right there, fuck that hurts.

The artists are causally talking about tacos.
Fuck! this hurts.
The techno music in the background is now a sort of soul rock and roll.
I appreciate it.
There is a lot of drum and twinkling piano,
and some wammy bar on the guitar.
Yet it might be a Jane's Addition song,
I don't know or at least the vocalist sounds like Jane's Addiction.

Fuck! New part of leg...ow, fuck another new sensitive area.
Just in case I forget how much this hurt,
Reminder for later
Never get a tat in an actually sensitive spot. (like the top of my foot)
...or I don't know the neck probably really hurts. 
I now feel like I can judge people who do that.
But I am not sure how to judge them.
Are they brave, dumb, masochistic?

Fuck

Two birds outlined.
Eagle and dove.
Now Cliff is working on the owl.
I hope I don't woose out and bail on the shading.
The owl doesn't hurt as much, yet.
Thank you, God, for the reprieve.
I almost understand how some people like this pain.
...but no, not really.
I only like that this pain - is less than the other pain. 

Techno is back.
I like electronic music.
It sort of allows me to zone out into the pain.
Man, how do people do those thick black bands? 
That has really got to f'ing hurt.

I am going to stop writing now. 
I am tempted to look at the time, but I don't really want to know.
I don't really want to know how much longer I am going to be here.

God, Thank you!
Praise your Name.
Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.