Life in the Desert

This is a song I wrote, not long after returning from Big Bend State Ranch. (edited 1.15.21)

Invitation:

Ummmm m. Ummmmm m.

1

Look'n forward, to being now.
Yeah, You ain't young, you been around. 

Cast aside what you don't need
'heard that voice say follow me!

Walk until you can go no more.
Fall on your knees at the desert's door.

Refrain:

Ohhh oh, ohhhoho.

It is time, to seek and find.
in this desert state of mind.

sun on the rocks, dry creek bed
tough is parched, belly unfed

Yes breath, 

Yes see 

Yes breath, 

Yes be

2

Hear my words,  know my voice
Fear or love,  make a choice.

I'll live in you, you live in me.
My way will set your soul at ease.

Sometimes the road, it may be tough.
We'll have the truth, it'll be enough.

3

life in the desert, soul in the wood.
sound of silence, home of good.

What was hidden,  is revealed to me
I once was blind, but now I see

Life in the desert, soul in the wood
You spoke to me and I understood.

5

Return from the wild, tongue on fire.
to tell the truth, I aspire

The same path looks, different now
Forgiveness, blessing, I know-how.

This ain't a race, you can win 
I see God underneath your skin

outro:

Ohhh oh, ohhhoho.

It is time, to seek and find.

Ohhh oh, ohhhoho.
in this desert state of mind.

2019 (didn't really send a Christmas letter, so here is a new years letter...out before the lunar new year)

Hell or high water this is the year we launch a company.  App design is complete and development under way.  Jobbertunity is scheduled to launch in September.  Jane is gearing up to do a stellar job marketing the 30th anniversary of  Habit for Humanity in Bryan/College Station, as communications manager.  She has also taken on a board position for another nonprofit, Tiny Hope Village.  We hope to raise enough money to buy land and break ground on building a tiny house community to be a permanent home for those experiencing chronic homelessness in Brazos County.

Robbie was just recognized with a yellow belt in Kempo Karate and he is learning to read children's books in Spanish.  I am proud of him.  Anna will be finishing up preschool at The Family Montessori  and headed to kindergarten this year. Our little girl is baby is growing up and becoming a  little girl.  She is stubborn and sweet, articulate and strong.  She will make a good President one day. ANNA SHERMAN for POTUS 2052 

I am a little late in preparing for my fast this year, but God is forgiving and patient.  I will be headed to Big Bend State Park on the Rio Grande for some meditation and time with the Lord in March.  I pray that God will equip me with the right attitude to be humble and persistent this year.  The Lord said, remember who your boss is and I will open doors for you.  Lord I am counting on you because I cannot do it on my own.

To all my friends and family have a blessed 2019.  May this year bring grace, healing, joy, forgiveness and blessing.       

Book List

Books that changed my mind or perhaps my heart in order of publication date:

Tao Te Ching - Laozi - 6th Century BC

Gospels - Matthew, Mark, Luke and John - 66-110 AD

The Art of Thinking - Ernest Dimnit - 1928

Man's search for Meaning - Victor Frankl - 1946

Lord of the Flies - William Golding - 1954

Battle for the Mind - William Sargant - 1957

Wretched of the Earth - Frantz Fannon - 1961

Franny and Zooey - J.D. Salinger - 1961

Operating Manual for Spaceship Earth - R Buckminster Fuller - 1968

The Soft Revolution - Neal Postman - 1971

Sophie's World - Jostien Gaarder - 1991

Built to Last - Jim Collins & Jerry I. Porras - 1994

Diamond Age - Neal Stephenson - 1995

2312 - Kim Stanley Robinson - 2012

A Tale for the Time Being - Ruth Ozeki - 2013

I am from - Poetic team building activity

I am from stealing warm gooey chocolate chip cookies,

While dodging, wooden spoon, wielded by callused hand grandma.

She never complained.

buried her husband,

buried her second husband,

buried her child,

buried her second child,

In a country that was not the place of her birth.   

Soul power skips a generation.

We dress our wounds daily.

We work as an expression of love.

We pray as a way of breathing.

I am from hand-me -downs, fixer-uppers, Home cook'n and Hard work'n.

I am from love, opportunity, camping, sports, piano lessons, choir singing, 

teachers that pushed me learn, parents who used both tough and soft love. 

Where I am from, gives context to who I choose to become. 

- Journal circa 2011 

little collection of funny poems

trouble getting up

Buzy, buzy, buzzing brain,

one might think myself insane.

I and me are hosting tea,

while future fights with memory.

It is just us so quiet down,

we have no time to laze around.

Reconciliation

I confess my confessions remain 

the same.  

In my heart and in my brain, 

nothing has changed.

My Philosophy does not save me.  

My faith does not endure. 

I give you this lord Jesus, 

I'm looking for a cure. 

Icelandic Reflections

Brits seem as out of place as Americans, 

in countries with softer languages.

I think I will bring home,

rocks and sweaters.

Short Story

Frustrated and overwhelmed, lost in thought circles, over eating, smoking, depressed and hopeless, I set out to climb the great mountain. The trail is steep, rocky, with dangerous precipices and loose footings. I drag my beaten body on with the hope that at the pinnacle I will find the holy guru. Far past many breaking points I finally reach the summit and take the last steps toward the hut of Saint Theresa Mohamed Gandhi King Jr.  

As my fist raises to knock on the door, it opens and still seated the guru asks, "Vat is your question?" I say, " What the fuck should I do with my life?" After a medium length meditative pause the guru responds, "How the fuck should I know?"  I immediately react by throwing my hands in the air and say, "You can't answer my question with a question, jerk!"  The guru just sighs and says, "Write to Dear Abby." Then after a pregnant pause says, "If that doesn't work, quit your job, have lots of sex, and take yourself out to dinner." Then more silence.

I breath in the pure mountain air and sip from my Evian bottle. The guru's eyes half close and she or maybe he (it is hard to tell) whispers...Go out and get really fucking drunk then while nursing your hangover write some new years resolutions.  I feel an anger rising inside me and I yell, " You are a god damn shame, a phony, a reclusive windbag!" The guru smiles and says, " I am a mirror. " Then disappears. The hut also vanishes and I am left looking out over a vast mountain range.  The sun is setting, painting colors across the landscape. 

-from a journal circa 2010 

Small collection of old poetry from an old journal

Reflection in Shackles 

Only self conscious in transition

While breaking tradition

Never thinking while in submission to a state

 of mind, 

of body, 

of time,

Far from sublime 

A waste of your line

Unfathomably blind

Lines I like from poems I don't

Not a priest minister monk of my fantasy

But a busted child in a man's body

Smelly birthday suit

Does skin look the same from the inside?

Spare parts to devices unknown

This shape must be useful

3 Death Poems 

1.

Beloved,

silent song,

won't be long,

Will I have fair for the boat?

two cents to put in,
will it all end...then begin?

Will I have a bone for Cerberus?

Or will I sacrifice a bone of my own? 

both joy and pain end,

rest in peace

2. 

How does it all go down?

With thunder, lightning, flood, fire and Crash!

...or during my lunch break , while I pick spinach from my teeth.

How does it all go down?

With love, fireworks, and happy endings

...or while sit waiting for the bus, pondering my finances.

How does it all go down?

At the end,

 when my work in done,

my pride is earned,

and everything is in place.

...or on a Wednesday after I've gone to bed,

 worried about tomorrow,

still mad at you.

It goes down every day.

I just don't see it,

most of the time.

3.

Waiting for checks,

to pay bills,

Bills check me.

Broke down budget.

Waiting comfortably.

Surrounded by rushed, 

tapping foot, 

shaky hand,

weight shifting nervous people.

Police lights outside say, "Emergency!"

my over caffeinated belly, but...calm,

Almost got hit by a car yesterday. 

Two haiku

Rain, Grey, Green, Cold, Wet

I don't want to go to work

warm feet, got to pee

You know bus don't go

You are mad, I'm not upset

Each day we are get'n there

excepts

No one knows what is good,

No one knows what is right,

I want to be no one.

Who will be the old man with the smile and the squinty eyes?

What do we loose by making everyone in our society into a business person?

Drifting day, loved, lost, loose

Beer in plastic glass tasty and cold

Wish you were here for the indescribable moments that are 

perfect, 

sad, 

euphoric, 

cool, 

whatever,

you weren't there and 

now I'm tired.

Strength, Power, and Courage 

are not a costume, a fashion, a look 

my actions ripple in both directions on the timeline,

my will is a pebble tossed in a placid pond,

dark thick fingers close on my world.

I am solid but bouncing within

breath...unfocus...silence

Swim without disturbing the surface,

Shift the level through displacement.