1514 oakview

First day in the new place.  Stopped for lunch on the way back from Ikea.  The drive is good.   It gives me time to think.   New life starts now.   Remember who your boss is.   Tell yourself your origin story.  Become your own hero.  

Zombie - Cranberries

When your soul connects to a song and you put it on repeat for days it can anchor memories with emotions that later can transport you back to a person you once were.

In the tool shed, sitting on the lawnmower, smoking a stolen cigarette, watching the smoke mingle with dust sparkles in the light shaft of little window and cracked door.

Zombie, zombie, zombie, eh, eh, eh, it's in your head-ed, in your head-e-a+Ed, zombie! Zombie! Zombie!

Last grandparent has passed.

Grandmom Friend has passed.  94. She was the last of her generation in my line. The WW2 gen. Both my parents have brushed death in the last year. However both probably have at least another 10.  I'm a little less than half way through. I hope to see my kids grow up. I hope to see grandchildren.  A long way to go.

Mortality

In PA.  Mom was is the hospital for a week. Last Wednesday was the first time I really thought about my mom dying.  Everybody dies some time, but that time has always been far away in my mind.  Mom is out of the hospital now and God willing she will make a full recovery. But her mortality no longer feels far away in the nebulous future.  I hope she lives for many more years. However at this moment life's end feels more real.  I'm sure when a parent dies one's own mortality also feels closer. But for tonight that inevitable transition can drift off back into the future. 

Day one of journey into silence.

It is the travel day. Sunday. Attended Palm Sunday Mass with my brother. I drank coffee in the morning.  Kissed Jane and the kids good bye. I'm sitting in Lampass at a Mexican place. Awaiting my last rich meal, for the week. Thinking it strange that this waitress may likely be the last person I speak with for 5 days. 

Contemplation

God here is my stuff.  God here is my life.  God here is your love returned. 

Life expectancy

Took a few online quiz calculator. Earliest 74, latest 90.  First one was 88. Double my age is 70. Double my age is 69